Progess

Sooo... had such a scary occurrence today! My knee popped while I was wrestling!!!! The sound of it... "crunch" was so scary. And the guy I was wrestling heard/felt it too and leaped off me. But my adrenaline was running and I didn't feel it and kept going... and won!!! I did well today, 3-1 on the day! I feel like I really showed what my work has been for finally I want to keep that going. I feel just on a positive level on a whole right now. I want to keep this consistent though... and I think I'm not going to try because that's how things always backfire. I'm just going to go with the flow. My knee is sooo tight right now. And hopefully tomorrow it will get better after a lot of therapy. But as I said... I'm just going to go with the flow.

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Often times I find myself back at this point where I feel as if I've had it with everyone... myself more than anything. I can't stand the people around me and would rather be left to myself because it's as if no one could ever understand. At the same time I hate myself... so it's a lose lose. What makes these things happen i don't know but something's got to change sometime soon. It's getting harder & harder to stand.

Brrrrr.... cold

So I'm sitting here before my first practice of the day and I gave up on even trying to sleep because it is so COLD in this house.... My toes long for some warmth! : ( Anyways I got my first set of film yesterday & hopefully today my camera will arrive, and then a whole new world will be opened up for me. I just hope I sleep somewhere warm tonight... and get closer to making weight today. Started the week at 184lbs and I've now gone down to 177.5lbs as of yesterday after practice... but I ate a lot after <__< I need to make 174lbs by Sunday so I'm on a good pace. I can't wait to be back in my own dorm and have some heat for a change!! I'll post something really legitimate later today when I hopefully will be warm. A wonderful day to everyone.

Some Stevie!!

I absolutely Love Stevie Wonder!!! These two posts I just found while searching around on YouTube are soo amazing. They're a unreleased song and an cover respectively. His voice.. his lyrics.. the chords.. just everything meshes together to beautifully to me!!! The unreleased song especially touches something for me especially. The lines... "It's my life story of Love that never comes true. It's that fantasy of Love that leaves me so blue. Here's my empty soul. With Love that's left untold.. and keeps my Lovers heart feeling cold." I can relate so much to this, and I feel for it so much more with how he sings it. It's not enough just to read the words but when he sings it you can feel the sorrow. Or maybe I'm feeling my own sorrow. I wish the video didn't cut off here!!!