No matter how it ends, no matter how it starts...

So... I've been given a friends "for now." And I really just don't know what this means?? It's give me the feeling of chance... but it also makes me say... Travone it's over. We knew this from the beginning. Just stop. Save yourself any further humiliation. But.. idk what to feel. There's this part of me that just wants to give it that go, because if there's any little chance at all... I'd be willing to take them for what I feel "we" could be. Or what we could "have." Am I wrong here? I know she's unsure about the future but aren't we all? Should that stop us from trying something in the moment if it feels right? We never know what's going to happen tomorrow so why not take the leap with me?  It's just difficult for me to handle, and I'm still thinking of how to deal with it. And the vibe and first lines of this song just play out how I feel.


I don't wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

And idk... I wonder what I'm doing. I'd rather her tell me... hey you know I think you're ugly. Or "you know it's because you're black." SOMETHING! ANYTHING! And half of me feels that's what it is, but once again someone is trying to be nice to me? Who knows. All I know is if there is chance then I'll stick around and see where it could take me. As I said I don't know what tomorrow holds.